Reality.

Wow it’s been forever since I’ve written but I’m feeling inspired to share.

I have spent the past 6 months tied up in a back and forth with a guy who continuously put me on the back burner and used empty promises to keep me around.

He would bail on plans and ignore texts, only to resurface when he wanted a hookup that would end in empty “I’ll work on it”s.

I did a lot of bluffing. Saying I was done and was blocking him, only to allow him to slide back into my inbox weeks later with a “let me make it up to you”.

After six months I have come to two realizations: I only allowed this because I feared I was incapable of finding something else and also I am absolutely dispensable to him. And I am not the type of person that should allow herself to be dispensable to anyone.

He never took the time to get to know me, so how could he possibly know what an absolute gem he could’ve had? Instead of blaming myself( like normal), I’m blaming him and pitying him for letting this one slip through his fingers.

Finding someone who actually values and appreciates me will be worth the wait. In the meantime, I’ll be working on that self-love thing I’m always talking about.